What happened to you is not your fault. It does not matter what you were doing, wearing, taking, or who you were with. None of that changes what was done to you.

Step 1: Get Somewhere Safe

  • Leave the situation if you can.
  • Go to a trusted friend, a public place, or your home — wherever you feel safest.
  • If you are in immediate danger, call emergency services (112 / 999 / 911).

Step 2: Preserve Evidence (If You Can)

You do NOT have to report. But keeping options open costs nothing.

  • Do not shower, bathe, or wash (as hard as that is).
  • Do not change clothes. If you already have, put the clothes you were wearing in a paper bag (not plastic).
  • Do not brush your teeth or rinse your mouth (if oral contact occurred).
  • Screenshot any messages from the person — texts, app messages, location sharing.
  • Write down what you remember while it's fresh: time, place, what happened, descriptions.

You can decide later what to do with this evidence. Preserving it now keeps your choices open.

Step 3: Medical Care — Go Within 72 Hours

Go to an emergency room, sexual health clinic, or rape crisis centre. Say: "I need to be seen after a sexual assault."

They will offer:

  • PEP for HIV — Must start within 72 hours. Ideally within 4 hours. (See: HIV Exposure Emergency)
  • STI testing and preventive treatment — Including chlamydia, gonorrhoea, syphilis, hepatitis B.
  • Hepatitis B vaccination (if not already vaccinated).
  • Emergency contraception (if relevant).
  • A forensic examination (your choice — you can consent to the exam and still decide later about reporting).
  • Injury assessment and treatment.

You have the right to:

  • Have a support person with you.
  • Refuse any part of the examination.
  • Ask questions about everything being done.

Step 4: Reporting (Your Choice)

Reporting is entirely your decision. There is no wrong answer.

  • If you want to report: Go to the police or ask the hospital to help you file a report. Having evidence from Step 2 helps, but a report can be filed without it.
  • If you're not sure yet: In most places, you can have a forensic exam done and the evidence stored without filing a police report immediately. Ask the hospital about this option.
  • If you don't want to report: That is completely valid. Your healing is not contingent on the legal system.

Step 5: Support

You do not have to process this alone.

  • Crisis hotlines: Search for your country's sexual assault helpline. Many operate 24/7 with trained counsellors.
  • LGBTQ+ specific support: Many mainstream services are inclusive now, but if you need a queer-specific space, search for LGBTQ+ survivor support in your area.
  • Tell someone you trust. A friend, a family member, a therapist — whoever you feel safe with.

Things That Are Normal After Assault

  • Feeling numb, angry, ashamed, confused, or nothing at all.
  • Blaming yourself (this is a trauma response — it is not the truth).
  • Not remembering everything clearly.
  • Not wanting to be touched, or conversely, wanting physical comfort.
  • Difficulty sleeping, eating, or concentrating.

All of these reactions are normal. None of them are permanent.

For Friends Supporting a Survivor

  • Believe them. Full stop.
  • Don't ask "why" questions (why were you there, why didn't you fight back). Ask "what do you need?"
  • Don't push them to report or make decisions before they're ready.
  • Offer practical help: Go with them to the hospital, help them get home, sit with them.

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